Dear Renovators Rescue / Backyard Blitz / DIY Rescue / Burkes backyard / Auction Squad / Do your Block / Tooth Fairy / Santa / Lotto / Insert you Charity Here (Pick Me!)
I am writing to ask you to assist us in our plight to complete our renovations of house and garden, in order to enable us to restore our sanity, and show our child that – Yes, Virginia – people do really live in houses with intact walls, plumbing that does not squeal, downpipes that, well, downpipe, and belongings in cupboards, not cardboard boxes. (Yes, I know my son’s name is not Virginia, thankyouverymuch)
You see, being the DIYers that we are, we have a great many jobs on the hop all at once.
What was the lounge room is to be our bedroom – (unfurnished as we speak), is awaiting the plastering and dado rails. The plasterer, lovely person he is, came on Monday, spent 2 hours here and we have not seen him again. So the couches and TV are living in what will be the ensuite and walk in robe, keeping the dining table and chairs company – because there is no where else for them either. It’s not all bad – we can eat and watch TV at the same time, with our feet up – and it really does not matter if we develop long sightedness. Truly.
What was the entryway games room shack tacked on thingo is all but finished now. Well, it’s been floor boarded and had the wall knocked out and rebuilt and new doors and VJ boards and dado rails, just waiting for that plasterer (again) and then some cornicing. And the ceiling fan. And paint. And the step…. So that room is empty too, furniture relegated to the shed, keeping my kitchen supplies (I remember them, I last saw them in August 2002, along with my sanity) and R’s toys (I guess grandchildren will like them, he outgrew them ages ago) company. And we really don’t mind clambouring over saw horses and plaster buckets when we wish to enter and exit the house. Truly.
What started off as our bedroom now has big windows and is half plastered, waiting for the plasterer (remember him?????) It houses our wardrobe tho – the one we bought off the roadside because we had nowhere to put our clothes whilst we “Took a few days” to do our room. Last January, I think that was…. So, apart from the wardrobe and dust, that room is empty and we are camping out in what was the 3rd bedroom but us destined to become the dining and family room. It’s fun sleeping in there, really – it’s OK climbing across the bed because we can’t walk around it – and the fact that we are sleeping with 2 book cases, a television entertainment unit (The TV is in the wardrobe, remember?) 12 dozen boxes of wine and the ironing rack with some more clothes on it really does not matter. It’s cosy. And I am getting used to the stubbed toes. Truly. And the wine comes in handy, in the absence of said plasterer….
And the office, now that wall paper is gone – empty too, except this little machine wrapped in plaaaaaaastic, which I have to shove off whenever I wish to type or catch up with what’s happening in the OUTSIDE the world. The room is waiting for the plasterer too… (Let’s play where’s Wally?) to patch the holes that were left from the 7 million brackets, and plaster up the doorway. Preferably with me in it. And it really does not matter that those 4 rooms of the house are totally out of commission -we can live in one bedroom, 1 bathroom and a non functional kitchen for a while, Truly.
Once those rooms have been PLASTERED (I may get plastered before they do) then that’s 4 rooms we can paint, sand floors, and put furniture into. If it is not all out of date by then.
Then we can start the meals area, Rielly’s room, kitchen, laundry, gardens, decks, driveway, garage, paths, carport, and fencing….
Have to dash now. I hear a truck coming up the road. It may be the plasterer, or some unsuspecting delivery man who is about to assume a tradesman’s identity so that I can GET SOME SORT OF NORMALITY AROUND HERE.